Tuesday, October 17, 2006

all together now: AWWWWW. HYUKSU! OMG THEY ARE SO ADORABLY BESTFRIENDY. and you can see how much su misses hyukjae...his eyes are like squeezed shut in the second pic. Awwwwww. T_T. they make me sad though...cus they so obviously dont see each other as much. the price of fame guys...

Jaejoong pwns 5:11 AM

yea here are some pics from SUKIRA (SUperjunior KIss the RAdio) show featuring DONGBANG ^^. dongbangshinki + suju = lots of dongbangjunior love <3<3 order of people: hyukjae/eunhyuk (suju), Junsu/xiah (DBSK), Changmin (DBSK), Yoochun (DBSK), JaeJoongie love (DBSK), Eeteukie!! (Suju) ahhh hyuksu are so darned adorable together. will post pic of them hugging later. oooh but lookie...the two band ummas together!! JaeTeuk = new OTP ROFL. *pokes teukie's blowfish cheek*

Jaejoong pwns 5:03 AM

anyway...was really disappointed today cus i went to look for dbsk's new album...but T___T it's not in SG yet. wahhhh. oh yea and i failed math. how wonderfully wonderful 8D. *is being high*

Jaejoong pwns 4:59 AM

mhmm looong time since i blogged. here's a pic of 5some dongbang...awww how cute!! ^^

Jaejoong pwns 4:55 AM

Wednesday, October 04, 2006

O - TVXQ full version MV

O JUNG BAN HAP. DBSK's latest MV. <3<3. but it's rather political. especially considering the lyrics. when you match them up with the scenes shown of 9/11, world tragedies, war in mid east etc etc. i hope they really do believe in what their singing about and aren't singing it jsut because their
management wants them to.

Jaejoong pwns 11:53 PM

Saturday, September 30, 2006

O Jung Ban Hap MV again xD. just because. it's fracking hot. yea:

Jaejoong pwns 11:18 AM

wahhh look...such a nostalgic image. new-image dbsk...looking at a pic of younger jaehomin. look at yunho glomping boojae's shoulder. awww. this pic was taken at their new album showcase on 29/09/06

Jaejoong pwns 11:17 AM

JAEHO says "YO!" xD

Jaejoong pwns 11:08 AM

oh dearie me...can you say hotness?

Jaejoong pwns 11:06 AM

or rather they are xD xD. JEJU here I come! lolx ^^

Jaejoong pwns 10:58 AM

Actually it's more like this: is the reason i wanna live in JeJu: other than the blue sea and the gorgeous beach AND the pretty waterfall AHAHHA

Jaejoong pwns 10:54 AM

I said a few posts down that i want to live in JEJU! this is why xDxD

Jaejoong pwns 10:53 AM

frack...they are hot. but their new mV ... damn political

Jaejoong pwns 7:45 AM

O JUNG BAN HAP BY DBSK

Jaejoong pwns 7:43 AM

WAHHHH JAEJOONGIE <3 KAWAII!!

Jaejoong pwns 7:07 AM

kawaii JaeJoongie from Taste Vs. Taste ^^

Jaejoong pwns 7:02 AM

Yunnie and Minnie sharing a moment during the rising sun showcase xD

Jaejoong pwns 7:01 AM

Friday, September 29, 2006

26 days since i last blogged. wowza. this blog is soo dead. yeps. i have no inspiration. lately ive taken to sleeping at 7pm, waking up at 12am...and not sleeping until 3am. and then waking up at 5am again. eating food cus i have to fast. sleeping at 5.15am and waking up again at 5.50am. and then going to school. coming home. rinse and repeat.

yes i know i'm really very screwed. i can't help it. I need to see a doctor. but the last time i saw a doctor there were weird NUH students who were more interested in my SCHOOL and the RP then diagnosing my condition. yea and the doctor incharge of them stuck thingies with cameras at the end up up fricking nose...just to tell me smthing i ALREADY know. i have sinus. like DUUUUHHHH. DOPPPE. been suffering all my life. stupid.

options options. they're fun. sort of relaxing. and yet very very draining cus they end so farking late all the time. we finally finished theory and started on the practical parts of options. LIKE WOOHOO. omg. foodbio...we made ice cream..from rice milk 8D8D. damn fun. except it was sadly too sweet cus the rice milk we used was naturally sweet + we added glucose syrup (thanks to certain members who insisted on doing so). but oh well...we have more trial runs to conduct! WEEEE. ^^ im determined to make nice tasting ice cream from scratch. it's a super interesting process xD.

ahh. and next. political geog. !!! who would have thot a module named identity, space and politics could be so interesting xDxD. too bad i cldnt upload pics i took on my hp...but gohtian said she'd upload hers on her blog. yay! xD. it's quite intriguing to see the difference between opposition controlled estates like hougang and potong pasir and compare them to MM goh chok tong's ward of Marine Parade. oooh yea. we learned today: marine parade is a gerrymander xD. it means that the shape of marine parade clearly signifies that it was formed...and im seriously quoting from a textbook here when i say: ...not for the sake of political representation but for other purposes, such as MAINTAINING CONTROL over certain areas.

so yeah. guess what...PAP has no grounds to sue people if we say ONE of their motivations for forming GRCs was to maintain power. because guess what...the textbook says so. and i bet every single political scientist (who isn't on their payroll) would say so.

xD. ok the funner parts of walking around potong pasir/hougang/marineparade...and the parts that made me sort of pissed were this:

1) Chiam See Tong holds his meet the people sessions and RUNS his ward from A FRICKING VOID DECK. wtf?? he has no facilites. so he holds the sessions in an area under one of the blocks called a "Community area" and it had a few seats.

2)SeeToh Lim...the PAP rep for the area...has his base of power in the nearby (lavish) Potong Pasir Community Club. Even though CCs are technically not supposed to be used for political purposes.

3) the potong pasir CC is as disgustingly lavish as its neighbourhood is rundown. they are fricking POOLS OF WATER the moment you enter it. like wtf? and they have a huuuge field...a street soccer area, a badminton court, a basketball court...and even some huge weird contraption outside for kids to climb on. yea. lavish. compared to the tinyness of the ward.

4) comaprison: the marine parade town council has like 5-6 levels, looks like a stone fortress, has an accompanying mini wall of china around it...a million shops surrounding it and even a shop and save housed right below it. the potong pasir and houngang town councils...are under HDB blocks. yeps. wonderfull yea?

5) Potong pasir and hougang both have unique notices. oO. like the ones that says not to kick balls around. lolx. it just seems so weird. i always thought those were made by order of HDB. not the town council :x. imagine...live would be super weird if i moved into a non-PAP ward i guess.

6) for example...if i lived in a group of potong pasir blocks...and my block was on the INSIDE...it might end up being half-painted when its makeover time because my town council ran outta money and my block isnt facing the road so it doesn't matter. after all...the only ones who would notice would be me (the resident), my fellow residents...and of course the group of rgs girls out of a geog fieldtrip to one of the two oppostion wards in the country. yeps.

7) i took a pic of margie's house. dun ask :x. haha but we really did walk past it.

8) I saw a potty plant pot. didja get it? someone used a kiddy sized toilet bowl as a plant pot. yeps.

9) Potong Pasir has MACDONALDS! *dies of shock* 8D. Macdonalds does not discriminate appraently. they're EVERYWHERE oO

10) Weirdoods at Hougang Macs outside jumping around playfighting by lifting up the Macs' CANE chairs. yea. weird.

11) it takes 55mins + a roadjam to travel from the Marine Parade (serangoon) office to the marine parade (east coast) office. compare this to the time i took to GET HOME to bukit merah from east coast there: 20mins. amazing huh?

random rant: But hey what the heck...it's Singapore dammit. and therefore this is the norm. i'm not complaining about PAP or anything. I'm in no place to complain about their policies or whatever not because i'm born in a generation which is DEFINITELY benefitting from the fruit of their hardwork. but i will say this: every government NEEDS a check. if there is no one to point out errors, efficient government or not, SIngapore will no longer be a democratic country. we're already termed as an "Autocratic" state instead of a democratic states by alot of foreign websites...I don't think we want to cross that line. But the sad fact is this: every election is a sort of a sham. there's some scandal concerning the opposition. PAP wins. Opposition gets taken to court. The pattern's clear by now. And the sadder fact is that most singaporeans probably know this. and they don't care. and that's the reason why our government is able to get away with alot of stuff that they THINK is good for us...but may not really be good for us. it's because there's no one to really challenge them. no one to stand up to them and say..."maybe you shouldn't do this", without the FEAR of getting prosecuted.

You Know...this really brings to mind the question in philo class regarding paternalism. Paternalism...isn't bad. In Sg's case...it's actually worked really well. the thing is this: if the government keeps on following that mindset...if we keep allowing them to be paternalistic...then we'll never know what Singapore would be if those reins are loosened ever so slightly. because all that talk of "Opening up", aside, I still don't think we have. just look at what happened to mrbrown. on one hand PM Lee (Hsien Loong) quotes him in a speech broadcast on national tv. in another...he gets fined and his today column gets pulled. incidently, the fine and the pulling of the column happened AFTER the elections. coincidence? i think not. so no more political podcasts. a pity. because you know what? Hossan Leong's crazy Singapore Song that was podacasted...it actually made me proud to BE a Singaporean, without any reservations at all for once.

aish. but what the heck. like i said. this is singapore. land of the 5Cs. where the "whip" as belchan put it in her crack jaeho fic...is held by the one and only SM (clue: she wasn't talking abt dbsk's management company ^^) and the people...are mostly concerned with a) earning enough money to fill their bellies and that of their kids' or b) earning enough money to get the 5Cs or c) earning enough money to move overseas to (ironically) get away from a society posessed with the 5Cs. Notice a trend? lolx.

to be fair: the rest of the world. or rather the metropolitan parts of the world people in C) want to move to...are all the same if not worst. it's like this...i can say we're a society and a species obsessed with the pieces of paper we print, ink and give meaning to. and i can be disgusted at it. but at the same time...i need those pieces of paper to buy DBSK stuff and OD on and become high over so i can forget about the world in general. catch-22 ne?

HAHA but i actually want to move here: Image Hosted by ImageShack.us

8D isn't it purdy??

wahhh the ocean's so blue! 8D <3<3

Image Hosted by ImageShack.us

more beach 8D

[URL=http://img390.imageshack.us/my.php?image=jeju2018yz0.jpg][IMG]http://img390.imageshack.us/img390/4228/jeju2018yz0.th.jpg[/IMG][/URL]

Jaejoong pwns 12:05 PM

Monday, September 04, 2006

oO I'm blogging in the five minutes before i have to leave house for an appointment at NUH with an ENT specialist...sigh. I swear my mom overreacts...bah this is why you should never tell your hypochondriac parents that you have an anythin-ache...or aches. bleah.

today morning was nice...i was still awake at 4am and it was raining. Nice time to be typing out fan fiction don't you think? Anyway...I wrote a JaeKi bus fic for bel-chan...it was meant to be crack...but yeah it turned out to be angsty. ooops. until i inserted her in anyway xD. i shall post it in this entry. anyway, it's only half done...because my dad came in and shouted at me at around 5.30am. bleah. doesn't he know I only woke up at 6pm that day. LOL.

bwa. so after switching off the computer for fear of facing my dad's ire, i still couldn't get to sleep. So I danced around the room in the dark listening to DBSK's first album. and yes, i'm definitely insane. Yea, but I only did that until my room curtains turned white from lighting flashing outside.

Yeap..and being the trigger-happy person that Photog has turned me into...well I just had to get my camera phone and stand at the window...at 6am in the morning, waiting patiently for the lighting to flash so i could take a picture. AHAHA i got some intertesting pics using multi-shot mode xD. i do the weirdest things sometimes don't I?

So here's what i wrote of the bus fic:

The room was a mess. A place full of haphazardly thrown clothing by its hurried occupants, anxious to get to the airport on time. All five beds had not been made. There was a book or two scattered around, abandoned mp3 players, a pair of Hamtaro boxers, various coloured t-shirts. The dresser at the side was even worse – it was littered with pieces of paper, earrings, bracelets, necklaces, even a pair of leather half-gloves.

A brown head peeked out from underneath a heap of clothing on the floor – Bambi; Yunho had been looking for her this morning. JaeJoong walked over and picked it up, carefully dusting it off and tucking it under Yunho’s bed covers. He smiled goofily. Bambi had a strange effect on everyone. She made them happy. And it was strange, JaeJoong realized. This feeling of happiness…he wasn’t accustomed to it anymore.

He wasn’t used to smiling unless it was for the camera. He wasn’t used to having so much free time on his hands. He wasn’t used to feeling…lonely. He grabbed Bambi up abruptly, squeezing the plushie as despair threatened to overwhelm him. He had never thought that he would be like this.

JaeJoong was not the kind of person who needed constant human interaction. In fact, sometimes, a lot of the times, he just wanted to be alone. It was like a craving; this need to have his private time. He had always been that way. Even in his trainee days where they had been packed 3 to a tiny excuse for a dorm, he had managed to spend most of his free time reading, listening to music, playing with his hand phone.

When they had put him into DBSK, he had been slightly horrified to discover that he would be eating, sleeping, living side by side with 4 others, 24 hours a day, 7 days a week, 365 days a year for as long as they were fortunate enough to stay together.

Constant contact could be a very abrasive thing. Most people tended to value their privacy. Most people were not Kim JaeJoong who had lived 14 years with 8 prying, well-intentioned older sisters, and who valued his privacy over his life. It was a precious thing to him. And DBSK, being DBSK, not only worked together, or even shared a dorm with each other, they slept in the same room (sometimes in the same bed), they ate the same food, they traveled everywhere together.

To JaeJoong, whose family had been scattered even before he was born, this was a new thing. Even living in the same house as his parents had not meant he saw them everyday. And sometimes his sisters just left him alone. He had grown-up depending on no one but himself. And while he considered DBSK to be more than family to him, he had never thought he depended on them for anything.

Sure, they supported each other, cheered each other on, even when they went their separate ways to record songs on their own, or attend a variety show, or act. And he knew they depended on him to be the band “Umma”. If Yunho was their leader, their problem-solver, the one they turned to for problems with work, then JaeJoong was their pillar of strength. He was “a man who cures the heart”, as Yoochun once put it in an interview. He knew what to say, when to say it and how to say it. And privacy issues aside, he loved his band mates dearly. If JaeJoong could have sheltered them from whatever pain life would bring them, he surely would, and had at times. It was just the kind of person he was.

He was a juxtaposition of kindness, narcissism, insecurity and passion. In short, he was Kim JaeJoong the only man alive who could be talking at the speed of light one moment and staring out of a window moodily the next (Yunho had once suggested he had PMS. JaeJoong begged to defer and had hit him on the head).

Still, it was strange for him to realize that he cared so much. [I] Too much…[/I] He didn’t like to lean on others…and it floored him to realize that he did. Because he knew they weren’t going to stay together forever. Promises and meaningless platitudes aside…they’d all move on eventually. In his eyes, each of the members was too talented to remain constrained by the meager amount of creative license SM allowed them.

Yoochun, who had been writing songs for years, deserved more than having SM grudgingly consent to producing one or two of his compositions. Junsu, whose voice was wasted, in JaeJoong’s eyes, on a lot of the candy-pop drivel they were required to sing because SM wanted them to. Yunho…Yunho whose aptitude for dancing was only overmatched by his passion for singing…deserved so much more than a line or two in their songs. And Changmin needed the training to match his big voice rather than ruining it by overworking it night after night screaming his lungs out, both at the audience and at his pillow. They all were worthy of so much more. And he knew they’d never be able to get their due as long as they were DongBangShinKi.

And that bitter knowledge had always made him keep himself a slightest bit aloof from them. He would be the first to comfort them, but JaeJoong was always the last to ask for comfort of any sort. Because he knew it wouldn’t last. They wouldn’t last.

Loneliness swamped him as he sat down abruptly. He just wanted…

[I]What do I want exactly…[/I]

JaeJoong stood up. This wasn’t working. He had been left behind in Korea so that he could “get your act back to together”, in the words of his manager. Sitting here, wallowing in the fact that he was now alone and was probably going to be for the rest of his life wasn’t going to change a thing. He had to focus on the present, and the fact that he needed to find some form of emotional stability before he could return to his band.

He couldn’t go back to staring at [I]him[/I] longingly. He had to forget… He had to move on, via a method that didn’t involve the consumption of copious amounts of alcohol –it was the reason why he had landed into this situation in the first place.

JaeJoong grabbed his jacket and started out the door. Staying in the apartment wasn’t helping, and he needed to find a quiet spot outside right now. He had always been a bit of a nature freak – he loved the smell of cold clear air on an early Sunday morning. The sound of rustling trees and the chattering of tiny animals. The sight of a river, flowing calmly about its ordained course. These were things he appreciated. Sadly, there were few of those left in Seoul. Korea’s capital city, as much of the world, had no place left for nature’s beauties. And its people had no time for it either.

But there were still pockets of nature outside of Seoul. [I] Though even those are kept around more for the revenue generated when tourists visit…[/I] JaeJoong did know of a tiny, unfrequented park near the Han River. The only problem was…he needed to take a bus from the local bus depot to get there. He sighed and pulled his cap down over his eyes, wishing he had worn his hoodie. But he was already out of the apartment building now, and he might not be so lucky as to escape the attentions of the rabid fan girls a second time.

He just slouched badly and hid behind the turned-up collars of his dark green sweater; it was a cold day after all, and no one would think anything of it. He had left the sunglasses behind; he didn’t know why the others wore them so much. Nothing screamed celebrity-undercover more than a pair of oversized, expensive pair of sunglasses on a day when the sun was hiding.

He walked briskly, sighing when he reached the relative safety of the nearly empty bus depot. It was 12.30am on a weekday, too early for the lunch hour crowd that would soon flood the streets of Seoul. JaeJoong perched on the metal standing bars, stretching out his legs to rest on the bar opposite. There was no one here to see his undignified sitting position anyway.

He tapped his feet against the metal bars impatiently, shifting positions several times and glancing at his watch. He hated it when buses took forever to arrive. At this rate, he was going to get stuck with the lunch hour crowd. He really should have left earlier.

JaeJoong took out his mp3 player and untwisted his earphones. He was thankful there was no one around, yet again, because he hated going through the awkward (and so uncool) action of smoothing out his earphone wires.

He hummed along happily as H.O.T’s Haengbok filled his ears. He really did love that song. It was just so upbeat…and happy. He smiled spontaneously as Jang WooHyuk’s rapping filled his ears. This was the reason he had wanted to sing. He had wanted to make others smile, much in the same way he was now. Somewhere in his crazy world, he had forgotten that fact. His career had increasingly become more of a bid to become more popular than anything else.

He slumped back just as his stomach growled. He pondered getting a bite to eat just as the bus trundled into view. He took a seat at the back of the bus, taking a window seat…it was going to be a long ride, almost all the way across Seoul, and he might as well catch up on the sleep he had missed last night playing video games with Junsu.

JaeJoong awoke groggily as the watch on his wrist beeped. 30mins and a dozen stops later, as well the arrival of lunchtime for most office workers meant that the bus was packed to the brim. He glanced outside, thankfully there were only a few more stops left till he had to alight.

The sleeping passenger next to him shifted slightly and JaeJoong threw him a perfunctory glance. His seatmate was sloppily dressed in gray pants, a light blue t-shirt and a colourfully striped beanie. What made JaeJoong take a second look were the large brown sunglasses perched on the man’s face, and the silver cross earrings that lay against his dark hair. Behind the sunglasses, the man was certainly good-looking. The sunglasses, high cheekbones, a sharp nose, the defined musculature under the thin t-shirt and – ahah! – finely trimmed eyebrows, told JaeJoong the man was possibly a celebrity of some sort. He stared a little longer, cocking his head from side to side. The other’s features tugged at the edge of his memory. Where had he seen them before?

He averted his gaze as the object of his scrutiny shifted again. He sneaked a glance from the edge of his vision, and was almost caught as the now-awake man turned his gaze toward the window. JaeJoong got up abruptly; his stop was the next one. To his surprise, his seatmate stood up as well and both of them pushed through the crowd with relative ease due to their tall statures.

JaeJoong fidgeted nervously. One tall, slightly effeminate, well-muscled Korean man might have been dismissed by most casually. But two of them together were attracting quite a few stares. He hunched down into his jacket, trying to look as inconspicuous as possible. He closed his eyes, his anxiety level rising as the number of curious glances cast their way increased.

He sneaked another glance at the man beside him, noting the oblivious way the other was tapping his foot to the song he was listening to. Maybe he wasn’t a celebrity after all. Most gasoos tended to have a good sense of awareness.

The bus-stop finally drew into view and JaeJoong heaved a sigh of relief as he stepped off the bus and onto the curb. From here, it was only a 10-minute walk to the park. A shriek from behind made him swirl around, just in time to see a young woman fall from the bus onto the curb, crashing into the man he had been sitting next to.

He wanted to walk away, and he scolded himself for being a busybody as he hurried towards them. The man was already wobbling to his feet as JaeJoong reached them so he approached the woman first.

“Are you alright?” he asked. She replied him with a confused look on her face. He sighed and looked down at her. Her arm was bleeding profusely so he took out his pack of tissue and reached for her arm. She stopped crying aand jerked it back, looking at him in suspicion.

He sighed. “I’m just trying to help you,” he said. She looked at him in incomprehension and shook her head, indicating that she didn’t understand him. “Help?” he stuttered in English, hoping she would understand him.

“You’re hurt. I help,” he told her in English again. She finally nodded, giving her arm to him. He pressed the wad of tissue against her arm to staunch the blood flow, grimacing in sympathy as she whimpered.

The sky darkened at that moment and JaeJoong resisted the impulse to curse. He looked at the now standing man and beckoned him over, hoping that this one at lest understood Korean.

“We have to get her to the bus-stop. It’s going to rain”.

“Ok,” the man nodded. “What do you want me to do?”

Somehow JaeJoong had ended up in-charge of the situation. He sighed. The other guy still looked a little woozy so he made him hold the rapidly darkening tissue against the girl’s arm.

He pointed up to the sky and then and the bus-stop. She understood easily and allowed him to take hold of her and help her to her feet. She cringed as she stood, her left leg buckling slightly beneath her. JaeJoong immediately moved to sling an arm around her and helped her limp to the bus-stop seat.

“Are you ok?” he asked her once they were there. She nodded. Rain began to pour at that instant and JaeJoong bit his lips to stop the moan that was threatening to escape.

The other man finally spoke up. “It looks like we’re stuck here for awhile,” he said. JaeJoong nodded in agreement. “Ah, do you have anymore tissue?” the man pointed to the blood-soaked tissue. JaeJoong searched his pockets and found a handkerchief instead. He folded it into a thick roll and pressed it to the woman’s arm as the guy took the wad of tissue away.

She winced at that, her brown eyes looking from him to the other man.

“Jaeki!” she said suddenly, after scrutinizing her two rescuers. They blinked at her.

“Jae—ki?” JaeJoong repeated her tentatively. It sounded like a Korean name. Did she want them to contact someone.

“Jaeki! Jaeki!” the girl was shouting like one of the rabid fan girls now and pointing at the two excitedly. JaeJoong looked at the other.

“Do you have any idea what she’s talking about”
“Maybe it’s someone she knows?” the man suggested.

“Yeah I thought that too,” JaeJoong said, fishing his handphone from his pocket with his free hand and thrusting it at her. He would do anything to stop her shrill screams of excitement. They hurt his ears.

She looked at him, puzzled by the offer. A strand of her blonde-brown hair dropped across her forehead and she looked at him like he was dumb.

“Call Jaeki?” he asked English again. She looked at him as though he was dumb.

“No!” she wailed. The other man patted her arm awkwardly in an attempt to console her.

“Piggy JaeJae! Panda JuJu!” she pointed at them in turn. JaeJoong looked at her as though she was insane.

Panda was an animal. Piggy…what the hell was that. And who were JaeJae and JuJu. JaeJoong sighed.He had better things to do than sitting here attempting to decipher a strange Chinese girl’s code language.

“JAEKI!” she said once again, pointing to the two of them.

“What Jaeki?” he finally remembered the english word he had been looking for. She threw him a disgusted look and muttered under her breath. Finally she looked up and smiled at them beatifically.

She pointed to herself with her free hand. “Chan XiaoWei,” she told him. He nodded. So that was her name; she was Chinese just as he had figured. She pointed to the other man. “Lee JunKi!” She exclaimed. JunKi’s eyes widened. JaeJoong looked up in surprise as well. No wonder he had thought the man looked familiar. This was the infamous star of King and the Clown, and JaeJoong’s fellow competitor for the title of Korea’s prettiest boy.

[I]’ Huh…he isn’t pretty at all without makeup,’ [/I] JaeJoong thought as he preened subconsciously, his free hand petting at layered black hair.

The girl pointed at him now. [I]Oh crap. Don’t tell me…she knows![/I]

“Kim JaeJoong!” she announced triumphantly.

“JaeJoong, JunKi…JAEKI!” she said with glee. Junki looked at her in bemusement. JaeJoong just groaned. Oh god. He knew what he was saying. She was one of those boylove fans. He just knew it.

“No,” he told her.
“No?” she repeated after him, looking like he was crushing her. JaeJoong sighed and said it again, “NO!” She pouted at him.

“What the hell is she talking about?” JunKi exploded at last. JaeJoong slid him a glance.

“Pairings,” he said nonchalantly.

“Pairings?”

JaeJoong resisted the urge to bash his head against the wall. Why was he always the one explaining this to others? He remembered the time he had had to tell Changmin all about this too, and the boy’s horrified looks. Poor Changminnie hadn’t been able to look at any of his hyungs without blushing for Weeks after that.

“The fans…they like to form couples with Korean celebrities. Gay couples,” he told the older man bluntly. For gods sake, the guy had made his fame acting as a gay concubine, surely he knew all about boy-love, and the fangirls’ obsession with it.

JunKi just stared at him for a moment. “You mean they…you mean she thinks we’re…” the man was flabbergasted. JaeJoong just nodded sedately, watching the other man sink into a shocked stupor.
_____________________________________________________________________________________

that's it xD.

Jaejoong pwns 11:26 PM

Saturday, August 26, 2006

my last year at rgs. the exams are almost over. sighs. i started out the term with the determination to study really...i'm afraid i've failed in that aspect. You know, when my cousins talk to me about "studying" really hard, over a course of weeks, i don't get it. I'm a really unmotivated person. I just CAN'T study unless the exams a few days a way and then i get really scared and mug into the wee hours of the night. And then when I'm done studying i go...AHHHHHH NOW WHAT THE TEACHER SAID MAKES SENSE. and then i always wonder why i didn't revise as during school time...if i did i would surely be a better student. sighs maybe i'd finally break the 3.3 GPA glass ceiling that i seemed to have imposed in myself. dang...the dumb thing is i usually scrape by in ALL the subjects except MATH and MATH IS WORTH DOUBLE CREDITS. and its the one subject that i just can't see the practical purpose for.

oh yea, i have to thank mel C. she came up with the fabulous idea of using JAEMIN xD to remember the reactivity series. So i used jaeho to rmb other chem stuff WAHAHAH. here's teh reactivity series mnemonic she came up with: Please See Changmin And Cats. Zis Is The Leason Hero Cares So Greatly...Platonic <3. :D i <3 those sentences...wahahah. dongbang rocks. :D. they are my study aid woooohhh.

ahahha and they let me meet new people! ahhh i now have two "noonas" haha who i chat with online about dongbang. one is Han...she's a cool viet-american...haha who lives in california but can't surf or swim to save her life oO. and she has hot guy friends who walk around half naked kekekekeke. wahhh but I've been so busy in the afternoons i haven't been able to catch her online in a few weeks T_T. usually she's up late around 2-3am her time...wich is sg 4-5pm. AHHAHA. and i distract her from work she has to finish by talking about jaejae dbsk, se7en...and life ahaha.

the other one...hmmm i've only been talking to her for about 10 days xD. bel-chan rocks. ahaha. wheee. she <3s jaejae and she lives right in Singapore. and i want to marry her. i really do :x. because she writes FANTASTIC JAEKI. like i've been craving for fic featuring my favourite pretty bois (yes jaejae darlling u are handsome not pretty ahaha) JaeJoong and Lee JunKi (of king and the clown fame) and she posts a chapter fic on them. ahhh i <3 her for spazzing with me over jaejae and juju and coming up with jaeho and jaeki plot pandas to write. haha and i can read her mind. i really can xD. wakaka i'm going to write a jaeki fic just for her because belle rocks ^^. she really does. ahaha. haha and ofjunk...i think i alr told u this...but she's a huge slam dunk fanatic (she writes senru!oO) and she thinks jaejae looks like rukawa. ahahah. i find it funny...how u both say rukawa looks like jae/ho. wheee so errrr jaeho looks alike then? oO

Jaejoong pwns 5:06 AM

Monday, August 14, 2006

aish. sometimes i think i'm a bit kookoo. like hmm i look back on entries i've written and go...sheesh. eeps. that's what happens when I let hormones control my life i guess. aiyayayay. ok great now i sound like that robot thing from power rangers that was always helping Zordon. man...

ohhhh i have discovered something. I have always been an anime fangirl. It's just that I never heard the word "anime" before i was 10 or 11. lol. HAHA i grew up on a steady diet of Transformers, Pokemon, Sailor Moon (as far back as nursery lol), Aka ZuZin ChaCha, Slayers, and a lot more than i've undoutedley forgotten about. hee. :). it amuses me to think that my current affinity for cartoon characters with feeling and kickass powers was because of nurture not nature - i did grow up watching them. then again, i've always held a liking for fantasy since i was a kid. aish. i <3 fantasy. LOL. but it's true. fantasy takes you beyond what you see everyday. the danger there is that you start de-valuing what's in front of you and start placing too much importance in the written word and your own imagination - it's not what the writer writes but what the writer DOESN'T write that makes me enjoy the fantastical.

it happened to me for a long while. HAHA from the age of 11-13 I did nothing but read and write. i was a bookworm in the most awful of senses, books were my world. I used to tell my mum that she could lock me up in a room full of sci-fi/fantasy books and i'd be happy. ^^ i know better now. I need my mp3 player. my computer. my CONNECTION to the world.

you see, human's need interaction. we crave it. we live off it. we're all social creatures, personal inclinations aside. introverted or extroverted we still need friends; we still need gab time; we still need those meaningless absolutely high on crack msn convos and those serious soul-searching phone convos at 1am in the morning on a school nite. It's a part of who we were made to be.

But who made us? who defined that humans can't live alone, separate from each other, cocooned away from the world in our own little spaces, not talking to anyone, just going through life on our own. this theoretical possibility is of course impossible (or nearly so) in today's world. (globalization!) means that we are all connected. and dang i sound like a broken recorder. ><.

moving on to the question of who defined us. Is it biology? After all, the area of animal behaviour dictates that hormones and instinct define an animal's life. Since homo sapiens are, technically, animals ourselves, shouldn't the same hold true for us?

but then. ah. the G-O-D thing comes into play. what about God? did He create us? frankly, i don't think so.

God to me, is a creation of man. Religion is mankind's way of solving the mysteries of the universe that seem to have no answer. Religion was made up by humans because we NEED something to believe in. whether it be God or Allah or even Satan, we need to believe in a higher force.

but why? why the need? why can't we just accept what empirical science tells us is true and believe that this is the Universe. we are humans. we are living here and now. we have to procreate in order to survive. we need to eat to live. to breathe to live. and drink water to live. simple basic necessities.

so why do we crave a higher power? why the belief in a benovelent force that (supposedly) is controlling the world? Why spend years of your live devoted to an IDEA of something created by man? Why go to war and shed blood and the lives of hundreds over your individual intrepretations of what "god" is? why all the rules. the subjugation. the prejudice. the hatred.

it doesn't make sense to me.

and the same time it does. some times. some things. just have no explanation. and as humans, there seems to be this undefinable characteristic which separates us from "animals", which gives us sentience.

for some reason, we seem to be different. now i have never been of another species so i can't tell if all "animals" view themselves as superior. yet, humans seem to be more...purposeful or rather less purposeful. we are more likely to spend time on the esoteric than on the basic necessities of life. we believe in the idea that humans, have as soul.

aish. i give up. there are too many pros and cons to believing in the idea of a benovelent force in this world. but believing in the presence of such a force and believing in a religion are two totally different things. religion to me is just the intrepretation of someone long ago - sure prophets may have conveyed God's message but along the way, it's easy for those messages to have gotten twisted and manipulated. those messages are bound to be coloured by the beliefs of the prophet's own time - hence the reason why many devout muslims still follow the archaic practice of covering their hair in HUMID Singapore which is no where near to the Saudi Arabian desert where the first kernels of Islam were founded.

hah you know what the ironical thing here is. despite the fact that i have written all of this - i still fast during the Ramadan and go to the mosque occasionally; i'm not the most devout of muslims but i'm still one. The true irony is because being a muslim is not a choice - it's a part of my cultural identity that's so depply ingrained in me i still can't stand the sight or smell of pork. That is the power of indoctrination. HAHA.

Jaejoong pwns 5:24 AM